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Welcome to the world of conflict resolution. Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. We’ve all been in a conflict at some point or another and maybe you’ve been unsure how to handle the situation. While it can’t always be avoided, we can equip ourselves with the skills to successfully resolve conflict. So, let’s start off with a basic introduction to conflict.
All conflicts share the same basic components. In basic terms, conflict is a form of relationship in which the members find their interactions in some way impeding their goals, their needs, or their well-being.
Conflict always involves parties of two or more individuals who are involved in the conflict and who have some sort of relationship with one another. The primary issue at the root of a conflict between parties is a need or an interest.
Frequently when describing conflict, people are really talking about how they reacted to the conflict.
IN CONTEXT
You have probably heard or maybe participated in a conversation that went something like this: “I was so annoyed. Can you believe he did that? I told him… and he said to me… and I was just getting really upset. Then he said, ‘Well if you're going to be like that…’ and then just walked out the door.”
In this case, the person is describing a conflict by rehashing what they said, what they did, what the other person said, and how they felt. As human beings, this is a typical response; we see things through our own lens.
Thus, when talking about conflict, we tend to talk about it personally in terms of our own reactions and what we saw happening.
This is why, as you’ll learn in this course, it can be helpful to step back and take a look at the basic elements in all conflicts—not only in terms of ours but also in terms of what is really happening.
Conflicts can emerge in a variety of situations, where parties in a relationship feel their other needs aren't being met.
Let’s look at some scenarios that illustrate different types of conflicts that could arise in everyday life based on the relationships you have with the people around you.
There are a variety of conflict types which are described based on what the conflict centers around. See the table below for the descriptions and examples of each type of conflict.
| Conflict Type | Definition | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Data-Based Conflict | Conflict based on lack of information/different interpretations of data | There’s a report that you need to finish at work; however, you don’t have access to the correct information. The fact that you must now wait for this information can lead to conflict. Or once you get the information, you don’t understand how these conclusions were reached. Where do these numbers come from? The conflict here is that you disagree with the interpretation of the information that you've just received. |
| Interest-Based Conflict | Conflict based on unmet needs. | Money as a need. You would like to save money to plan for a vacation. You've been looking forward to a vacation because you work hard. Your partner wants to save that money in order to buy a new car. The two of you are fighting about exactly what to do with this extra money you have, so this is an interest-based conflict. |
| Relationship-Based Conflict | Conflict based on the relational patterns between parties. | Let’s say you are working with somebody who's very organized. Everything has to be very structured, everything's in its place, and everything has a file. You may be somebody who is not quite that structured, and perhaps you have piles of papers on your desk. You always know where things are; they're just always in piles. Because you’re a little bit more loose, maybe a little bit more messy, this can cause a conflict with the other person. |
| Structural Conflict | Conflict based on external forces that impede parties' goals or exercise of their rights. | On a personal scale, structural conflict is something people commonly encounter when dealing with a lot of policies or procedures that need to be waded through, such as trying to adopt a child. On a larger scale, structural conflict happens quite often within nations where people feel like their rights are being constricted by government. In the past, this led to the American Revolution. |
| Values-Based Conflict | Conflict based on clashing or contradictory beliefs. | One parent may feel very strongly about discipline, while another parent may believe in being more lenient. Parents may also disagree about what time their children should go to bed, when they should watch television, or what kind of television they should watch. |
As previously mentioned, conflict includes parties who have needs and interests. The conflict occurs because one party feels that its need or interest is incompatible with the other party’s.
Needs can be either external or internal. It’s important to realize that in a conflict, internal and external needs are not mutually exclusive. Let’s look at the Venn Diagram below for some examples of conflicts involving internal needs and external needs.
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