Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Model

what's covered

In this lesson, you will explore the Thomas–Kilmann conflict styles framework, focusing on the five distinct conflict styles: accommodating, avoiding, competing, compromising, and collaborating. Specifically, this lesson will cover the following:

Table of Contents 1. Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles 2. Five Conflict Styles  2a. Accommodating 2b. Avoiding 2c. Competing 2d. Collaborating 2e. Compromising 3. Intercultural Critique of the Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles

1. Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles

In the 1970s, researchers Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann proposed five general styles of resolving conflict, which can be aligned along two axes. If you measure the amount that you value the relationships involved in a conflict against the amount that you value achieving your goals in the conflict, you can plot where you fall on the Thomas–Kilmann conflict styles graph. 

In this chart, the x-axis shows the “importance of relationship” and “cooperativeness.” If the chart is used to analyze a specific conflict, then the x-axis refers to how much the parties value their relationship.

EXAMPLE

A conflict between siblings would be far to the right in this chart; a conflict between classmates would fall farther to the left.

If the chart is used to analyze an individual’s conflict style, then the x-axis measures cooperativeness, a behavior in which parties work together to achieve their mutual and respective individual goals. 

The y-axis shows the “importance of achieving goals” and “assertiveness.” If the chart is used to analyze a specific conflict, then the y-axis refers to how important the outcome of the conflict is to the parties.

EXAMPLE

A conflict over the custody of a child would likely be near the top of the chart; a conflict over unloading the dishwasher would likely be near the bottom of the chart.

If the chart is being used to analyze an individual’s conflict style, then the y-axis measures assertiveness, or a behavior in which a person confidently makes a statement without need of proof, affirming their rights without attacking another person. 

Each of the five conflict styles will fall somewhere on this graph, depending on whether they involve high assertiveness, low assertiveness, high cooperativeness, or low cooperativeness. It can be useful to assess an individual conflict by looking at which conflict resolution styles are likely to be in play, given the relative importance of the relationship and the conflict goals to the parties. It can also be useful for a person to know what conflict resolution styles come most naturally to them. 

The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles Assessment is a commonly used assessment tool for determining a person’s preferred conflict style, which is the conflict style an individual most often or habitually uses. This tool is a short questionnaire that measures a user’s assertiveness and cooperativeness. 

hint

You might be able to find a free version of the Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles Assessment online if you would like to find out your own conflict style to have some personal context for this lesson. 

No conflict style is necessarily better than another. Depending on the importance of the relationships and goals in a given conflict, a different conflict style might be the most appropriate one for the situation.  

big idea

Because different situations may call for different styles, it’s important to remember that you are capable of using any style. The preferred style is only meant to signify that we, as individuals, typically have one that we tend toward. 

terms to know

Cooperativeness 

Behavior in which two parties work in concert to achieve their mutual and respective individual goals.

Assertiveness 

Behavior in which a person confidently makes a statement without need of proof, affirming their rights without attacking another’s. 

Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles Assessment 

One of the most commonly used assessment tools to determine a person’s preferred conflict style.

Preferred Conflict Style 

The conflict style an individual most often or habitually uses. 

2. Five Conflict Styles 

According to the Thomas–Kilmann conflict styles model, there are five different conflict styles: 

• Accommodating 
• Avoiding 
• Competing 
• Compromising 
• Collaborating 

2a. Accommodating

Accommodating is a conflict resolution style in which one party helps meet another’s needs at their own expense. 

The position of the accommodating style on the graph indicates that people who use this style are highly cooperative and willing to work with others. However, this style is low on assertiveness, meaning people who use it are less likely to speak up when something bothers them. 

term to know

Accommodating 

A conflict resolution style in which one party helps meet another’s needs at their own expense. 

2b. Avoiding

Avoiding is a conflict resolution style in which a party does not make any attempt to address or resolve the conflict. 

As the chart shows, avoiding is low in both cooperativeness and assertiveness. People who use this style do not say how they feel and do not really work with others. 

term to know

Avoiding 

A conflict resolution style in which a party does not make any attempt to address or resolve the conflict. 

2c. Competing

Competing is a conflict resolution style in which one party seeks to meet their own needs at the expense of another party’s needs. This is also sometimes known as forcing.

As we would expect, competing is high in assertiveness; people who use this style speak up about their wants or needs. However, this style is very low in cooperativeness.

term to know

Competing 

A conflict resolution style in which one party seeks to meet their own needs at the expense of another party’s needs (sometimes also referred to as forcing). 

2d. Collaborating

Collaborating is a conflict resolution style in which parties work jointly to try to meet all of each other’s needs. This is sometimes also referred to as problem-solving. 

On the graph, you’ll notice that collaborating is high in assertiveness because the party who is collaborating speaks up about their own needs. Collaborating is also high in cooperativeness, as this style involves a willingness to work with others in terms of their needs. 

term to know

Collaborating 

A conflict resolution style in which parties work jointly to try to meet all of each other’s needs (sometimes also referred to as problem-solving). 

2e. Compromising

Compromising is a conflict resolution style in which parties agree to sacrifice some of their needs in exchange for having others met. 

Therefore, a compromising style is right in the middle in terms of both assertiveness and cooperation. 

term to know

Compromising 

A conflict resolution style in which parties agree to sacrifice some of their needs in exchange for having others met. 

3. Intercultural Critique of the Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles

Although the Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory is one of the best-known means of describing people’s conflict styles, it is only one of a number of models and inventories. Some scholars of conflict resolution point out that the Thomas–Kilmann instrument assumes that its users come from U.S. culture and hold American culturally derived assumptions and worldviews. It also assumes that Americans share a single culture regarding conflict, but the United States is very diverse, and there are many different communities with different approaches to conflict and conflict resolution. 

EXAMPLE

 The dominant American culture generally places a great deal of importance on individuality and independence, while some other global cultures and American subcultures strongly emphasize interconnection and community.

Because the Thomas–Kilmann styles are based on American culture, they are based on the assumption that parties will frequently choose their own goals over maintaining the relationship; in other cultural contexts, this might rarely happen.  Because approaches to conflict can vary between cultures, a U.S.-based model may not be effective when used to model conflict styles of people who don’t hold dominant American assumptions and worldviews.

There are other tools available to conflict resolution practitioners who wish to evaluate conflict styles from a less American perspective. These tools include the Intercultural Conflict Style Inventory, which interprets conflict style while taking cultural differences into account and may be more useful when addressing conflicts with cross-cultural elements. 

As we discuss the five Thomas–Kilmann conflict styles in more detail, keep in mind that we are speaking primarily about the dominant American culture in these examples and scenarios. Conflict between parties from different cultures, or that takes place in a different cultural context altogether, may look very different!  

reflect

Consider how conflict manifests in your culture. Reflect on whether your culture places more value on collaboration or assertiveness in resolving disputes. Is there a tendency to approach conflicts with a focus on mutual agreement and harmony, or is there an emphasis on standing firm and advocating for one’s own position? Additionally, think about the cultural priorities in achieving goals versus maintaining good relationships. Does your culture emphasize the importance of reaching objectives and results, or is there a greater emphasis on preserving harmony and fostering strong interpersonal relationships?

Understanding these cultural dimensions can provide valuable insights into how conflicts are navigated and resolved within different societal contexts. Reflect on specific examples from your own experience to illustrate these cultural dynamics in practice.