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Communication goes far beyond the words we say. In fact, nonverbal communication, which includes body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures, plays a critical role in how our messages are received and interpreted. Nonverbal cues can either reinforce or contradict what we’re saying verbally, making them especially significant in everyday interactions and conflict resolution. If nonverbal communication contradicts our words, it can lead to misunderstandings, tension, and conflict.
There are several different aspects of nonverbal communication, including how it influences conflict resolution. You will explore examples of how it can both support and hinder effective communication. Understanding how nonverbal communication works can help you navigate complex interpersonal situations and build stronger, clearer communication, especially when resolving conflicts.
Nonverbal communication is an essential part of how we interact with others. It involves sending and receiving wordless signals such as facial expressions, body postures, gestures, and eye movements. These signals often reveal our true feelings and intentions, sometimes even more accurately than our words.
Body language encompasses a range of nonverbal signals, including posture, the positioning of your arms and legs, and the distance you maintain from others. The way you position yourself can convey confidence, openness, defensiveness, or anxiety.
EXAMPLE
If someone is slouched in their seat or avoids facing another person during a conversation, it might suggest disinterest or discomfort. In contrast, leaning in slightly and having an open stance—arms uncrossed and feet firmly on the ground—can signal engagement and attentiveness.Body language is particularly impactful in conflict resolution. If you’re trying to resolve an issue with someone but you have closed-off or defensive body language (e.g., crossing your arms or turning away from the other person), your verbal attempts at resolution may be undermined. You may be saying, “I want to find a solution,” but your body might be saying, “I’m not open to what you’re saying.” This kind of mixed messaging can escalate conflicts rather than resolve them.
EXAMPLE
Imagine you’re having a discussion with a coworker about a project. While you’re verbally agreeing with their points, your arms are crossed and you’re leaning back in your chair, which could signal defensiveness or disagreement.Facial expressions are perhaps the most immediately noticeable form of nonverbal communication. We can communicate a wide range of emotions—happiness, anger, confusion, or frustration—through subtle changes in our facial muscles. Sometimes, our facial expressions might unintentionally reveal our true feelings, even when we’re trying to conceal them. For instance, a furrowed brow, a clenched jaw, or pursed lips may signal frustration, regardless of what you’re saying aloud.
Gestures, which include hand movements, shrugs, and other forms of body language, also play a significant role in communication. For instance, a thumbs-up can indicate approval, while a shrug might suggest indifference or uncertainty. When used appropriately, gestures can reinforce what we’re saying. However, excessive or inappropriate gestures can confuse the meaning of the message or create an impression of anxiety or aggression.
EXAMPLE
Imagine you’re explaining an idea in a meeting. You might naturally use your hands to emphasize key points, which can make you seem more confident and engaged. On the other hand, if you’re speaking with a closed-off expression or making dismissive gestures, your audience may interpret that you’re not open to their feedback, even if that’s not your intention.Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of nonverbal communication, and its role in communication can vary significantly across different cultures. In many Western cultures, maintaining direct eye contact is associated with honesty, attentiveness, and respect. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact may be perceived as a sign of dishonesty, discomfort, or disinterest.
However, cultural differences in the interpretation of eye contact should not be overlooked. For example, in some Asian and Middle Eastern cultures, prolonged eye contact can be seen as confrontational or disrespectful, whereas in other parts of the world, it’s a sign of active listening and respect.
In conflict resolution, eye contact can be a powerful tool for building trust and rapport. Maintaining appropriate eye contact helps create a sense of connection and shows the other party that you are fully engaged in the conversation. However, if your eye contact is too intense or too fleeting, it can lead to misunderstandings or discomfort.
EXAMPLE
Imagine you’re mediating a conflict between two coworkers. One of them, Mike, values direct eye contact and sees it as a sign of respect. The other, Sarah, comes from a culture where prolonged eye contact can be seen as disrespectful. As Sarah avoids Mike’s gaze during the conversation, he interprets this as disinterest or avoidance, which exacerbates the conflict. In this case, it’s important to recognize the cultural norms that may be at play and explain them to both parties to prevent further misunderstanding.
It’s important to understand that nonverbal communication is not universal. Different cultures interpret body language, eye contact, and gestures differently. What might be considered polite or respectful in one culture could be seen as rude or aggressive in another.
When communicating or mediating conflicts in diverse settings, it’s important to be sensitive to cultural variations in nonverbal communication. Understanding these differences can prevent misinterpretations that could otherwise escalate conflicts. For instance, as we discussed earlier, eye contact in some cultures may be interpreted differently than in others. Similarly, hand gestures that are friendly in one culture may be offensive in another.
EXAMPLE
Suppose you’re mediating a conflict between two colleagues from different cultural backgrounds. One colleague uses hand gestures extensively while speaking, which is seen as a natural part of conversation in their culture. The other colleague, however, comes from a culture where such gestures are seen as aggressive or overly emotional.Recognizing and explaining these differences can help both parties better understand each other’s communication styles, paving the way for a more constructive dialogue.
In conflict resolution, aligning verbal and nonverbal communication helps ensure your message is clear and consistent. When what you say matches how you say it, including your body language and tone, it reinforces your intentions and fosters trust. However, this alignment requires a high level of self-awareness, especially in nonverbal communication. Being conscious of your gestures, facial expressions, and posture can help you convey empathy and understanding, making it easier to navigate conflicts effectively.
For effective communication, it’s important that verbal and nonverbal messages align. When your nonverbal cues contradict your words, it can create confusion and mistrust, especially during conflict resolution. If you say, “I want to hear what you have to say,” but your body language and tone suggest that you’re uninterested or impatient, the other party is likely to believe your nonverbal cues over your words.
To avoid mixed messages, always check that your body language, facial expressions, and eye contact support what you’re saying. This is particularly important during conflict resolution, where clarity and sincerity are critical for building trust and understanding.
EXAMPLE
You’re trying to resolve a disagreement with a coworker and verbally express your willingness to collaborate. However, you’re also checking your phone during the conversation, which undermines your words. In this case, it’s important to put your phone away, maintain eye contact, and use open body language to reinforce your verbal commitment to resolving the conflict.
One of the biggest challenges in mastering nonverbal communication is the fact that many of our nonverbal behaviors are unconscious. We might not realize that we are fidgeting or avoiding eye contact. This is why self-awareness is key to improving nonverbal communication, particularly in conflict situations.
Becoming more aware of your nonverbal communication can help you better control the signals you’re sending to others. This involves paying attention to how you physically and vocally respond during conversations, especially when emotions run high. You can practice self-awareness by reflecting on past conversations, observing your nonverbal cues in the moment, or even asking for feedback from trusted colleagues or friends about how you come across nonverbally.
EXAMPLE
Let’s say that during a heated discussion with a colleague, you tend to cross your arms and raise your voice without realizing it. Over time, you notice that these nonverbal behaviors make others feel defensive, making it harder to resolve conflicts.By practicing self-awareness, you can start to identify these tendencies and consciously adjust your posture and tone to appear more open and calmer, which will make the conversation more productive.
By being mindful of these nonverbal cues, consider how you can create a more productive and collaborative environment in your future interactions.
Source: THIS TUTORIAL WAS AUTHORED BY MARLENE JOHNSON (2019) and STEPHANIE MENEFEE and TRACI CULL (2024). PLEASE SEE OUR TERMS OF USE.
