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As a leader, your thoughts shape your actions and influence those around you. This internal dialogue is your self-talk, a constant stream of thoughts and beliefs that can either build you up or hold you back. When you learn to recognize and intentionally guide this inner voice, you can also develop a more resilient and positive mindset. You need to know how to transform negative thinking patterns into constructive, empowering ones that help you become a more competent leader.
Later research in cognitive and behavioral psychology emphasized how this internal dialogue could reinforce thought patterns, whether they are constructive or not. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) uses the reframing of negative self-talk to alter emotions and behaviors (Beck, 2011) and is now at the core of a wide range of therapies to help people cope with depression, anxiety, addiction, and other issues. Outside of clinical use, strategic self-talk has been successfully used in sports, education, and the performing arts to manage anxiety and improve performance. Self-talk has broad applicability, is well supported by evidence to be efficient, and can have long-lasting effects.
Psychologists often distinguish between spontaneous self-talk, the unprompted inner chatter of daily life, and strategic self-talk, which consists of deliberate phrases used to focus, motivate, or calm oneself. In both forms, self-talk is a cognitive tool that makes abstract thoughts tangible through language. The end-goal of strategic self-talk is to transform your spontaneous self-talk into a more helpful tool (Hardy et al., 2020).
Think of the difference between spontaneous and strategic self-talk as being similar to the difference between a rough draft and a final version of a document. Your spontaneous self-talk is like the initial draft—full of raw ideas. You might think, "I'm not good at this," or "I'll never figure this out." Strategic self-talk is the editing process, where you intentionally replace those unhelpful thoughts with clear, purposeful statements like, "This is a challenge, but I can learn what I need to succeed," or "I've handled tough situations before, and I can handle this one, too." This deliberate practice of choosing your words and thoughts is what influences your mindset and, ultimately, your actions.
EXAMPLE
Roy is an entry-level employee who wants to show initiative and offers lots of ideas in every meeting, until his manager, Alyssa, takes him aside and tells him he’s been interrupting others and not fully understanding a problem or question before offering his suggestions. She suggests he “listens more and talks less.” Roy realizes he has been guided by spontaneous self-talk, specifically telling himself to “show initiative,” and “make a good impression.” He is now more intentional with that self-talk, telling himself to “listen more and talk less,” just as his manager told him. “That’s how you make a good impression,” he tells himself. This requires constant reminders to himself both before and during meetings, but over time it becomes second nature, to the point where his spontaneous self-talk is to absorb information and offer ideas only when everyone else has spoken.In management and leadership, self-talk takes on practical significance as a form of self-regulation and resilience building. Leaders face high-stakes decisions, conflicting demands, and frequent scrutiny; their inner voice can determine whether they approach challenges with clarity or succumb to self-doubt. Positive self-talk helps leaders reframe setbacks as opportunities, maintain composure under pressure, and project confidence to their teams (Kross, 202).
The practice of self-talk also supports core leadership functions such as decision-making, communication, and modeling behavior. Leaders who consciously regulate their inner speech are better able to manage emotions before they spill over into interactions with colleagues or subordinates. They also set an example: teams often mirror the attitudes and self-narratives projected by their leaders. By treating self-talk as an intentional practice—much like strategic planning or stakeholder communication—managers and leaders strengthen both their own performance and the climate they foster within their organizations.
Importantly, self-talk shapes not only how leaders manage themselves but also how they perceive and treat those around them. A leader who habitually frames their inner dialogue in terms of trust, respect, and encouragement is more likely to view employees as capable, motivated, and deserving of autonomy. This aligns closely with Theory Y leadership (McGregor, 1960), which assumes that people are self-directed and thrive under supportive conditions. By cultivating positive self-talk that emphasizes patience and empathy, leaders reinforce a mindset that sees subordinates not as problems to be controlled but as partners to be developed—strengthening collaboration and long-term organizational health.
IN CONTEXT: Leroy the Project Manager
Leroy is facing a project delay. His spontaneous self-talk might be negative, something like, "my team is unreliable; they can't meet deadlines." This thought pattern can lead to micromanagement, a lack of trust, and a demoralized team. A leader practicing strategic self-talk might reframe the situation with a more constructive internal dialogue: "There must be an obstacle we haven't identified. My team is committed, and together we can figure this out."
In 2023, a team of leading psychologists from across several subfields (Latinjak, et al). The article brought together a diverse group of scholars whose work spans clinical psychology, sport and performance psychology, developmental psychology, and cognitive sciences. They reviewed over five-hundred studies on self-talk in these and other fields, covering a span of 42 years (1978-2020), to develop a framework that synthesized these studies into a coherent model. This model includes six forms of self-talk:
As we’ve already learned, spontaneous self-talk is unplanned, automatic, mental commentary that reflects our immediate reactions and feelings. In this taxonomy, we will limit it to short and unmediated responses.
Inner monologue is a more sustained narrative you tell yourself about your day, your career, or your experiences. While spontaneous self-talk is intermittent, this is a more ongoing story that incorporates spontaneous self-talk.
For some people it is an inner dialogue, like an ongoing conversation in your head, such as between an inner critic and an inner coach.
Inner critic: You did that wrong.
Inner coach: It’s OK, you can fix it.
Regardless of how you experience it, this inner dialogue is directly connected to your brain's executive functioning, which are the skills you use for planning, problem-solving, and focusing on complex tasks. It's what allows you to silently weigh options, rehearse a difficult conversation, or talk yourself through the steps of a new process. In the example above, both the inner critic and inner coach are crucial to executive functioning, with one checking your work for errors and the other encouraging you despite setbacks.
Spontaneous-strategic self-talk, which is a natural blend of unplanned thoughts and deliberate self-instructions. This form of inner dialogue emerges organically, often as a real-time response to stress or a problem that needs to be solved. It’s not a formal, pre-planned strategy, but an immediate, reactive mental process. For example, Ernestine, a leader, might realize a presentation isn't going well and think, "This is going off-track... okay, breathe, focus on the client's main question, I can get this back on track." The first part of that thought is a spontaneous reaction, while the second is a goal-directed, strategic self-instruction.
We also use goal-directed self-talk, which is a deliberate, purposeful inner speech used to guide actions, regulate emotions, or sustain motivation toward a clear objective. While it is a subtype of strategic self-talk, it is more deliberate and focused on a single goal.
EXAMPLE
Before giving quarterly results to executives, Ernestine might silently rehearses: "Stay calm, make eye contact, emphasize the growth numbers first, then address challenges." This internal coaching helps the manager focus, manage anxiety, and stay on track with her plan. This kind of self-talk is an essential tool for achieving your goals and managing stress.When you engage in goal-directed self-talk, you are actively exercising self-leadership. You are not just reacting to a situation, you are consciously preparing for it. This practice can be especially helpful in challenging or high-stakes situations because it allows you to mentally walk through the steps you need to take. Over time, consistently using this kind of self-talk can transform a difficult task into a manageable one by creating a clear mental pathway to success. It's a key part of moving from simply reacting to your inner dialogue to actively shaping it to achieve your goals.
Caption: The types of self-talk can be seen as a continuum from spontaneous self-talk to highly deliberate self-talk that builds confidence, helps maintain self-control, and anticipates potential challenges to form solutions.
Leaders can intentionally cultivate a more productive mindset through educational self-talk interventions. These interventions focus on training you to become aware of your self-talk and to reshape it into more constructive patterns. The core of this process is raising awareness and providing the knowledge and tools to make a change. A common training exercise, for instance, might be a leadership workshop where participants learn to notice their negative self-talk, such as thinking, "I'll never get through this workload." Once aware, they can then practice reframing it into constructive alternatives, like, "I'll tackle the most urgent task first and delegate the rest." The power lies in recognizing the negative pattern and replacing it with a strategic, action-oriented thought.
We’ve learned that strategic self-talk is a structured, purposeful use of self-talk scripts or techniques tailored to specific tasks, challenges, or performance demands. This goes beyond simple awareness to a systematic application.
EXAMPLE
Hannah is a sales rep for a technology training company. As she prepares for a sales call, she might develop a mental script: "If the client stalls on price, I'll remind them of the added value our products have. If they bring up a competitor, I'll highlight our service guarantee." This pre-planned self-talk helps her regulate emotions and steer the conversation strategically. If you prepare these scripts in advance, you can manage your reactions and focus on a constructive outcome instead of being thrown off by unexpected obstacles.This approach to self-talk helps you prepare for what's ahead, so you can respond with purpose. After an event, this reflective self-talk supports emotional intelligence, self-correction, and a more measured response in future interactions. For example, Ernestine might reflect on a difficult conversation by thinking, "I should have listened more before reacting. Next time, I will pause and reframe my internal dialogue before I speak." This systematic use of self-talk helps you learn from your experiences, allowing you to fine-tune your internal responses for more effective external communication and action.
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References
Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Hardy, J., Latinjak, A. T., Oliver, E., & Tod, D. (2020). Self-talk in sport: From research to practice. Journal of Sport Psychology in Action, 11(3), 179–188. doi.org/10.1080/21520704.2020.1720128
Kross, E. (2021). Chatter: The voice in our head, why it matters, and how to harness it. Crown.
Latinjak, A. T., Morin, A., Brinthaupt, T. M., Hardy, J., Hatzigeorgiadis, A., Kendall, P. C., Neck, C., Oliver, E. J., Puchalska-Wasyl, M. M., Tovares, A. V., & Winsler, A. (2023). Self-Talk: An Interdisciplinary Review and Transdisciplinary Model. Review of General Psychology, 27(4), 355-386. doi.org/10.1177/10892680231170263 (Original work published 2023)
McGregor, D. (1960). The human side of enterprise. McGraw-Hill.
Vygotsky, L. S. (1987). The collected works of L. S. Vygotsky, Volume 1: Problems of general psychology. Plenum.
